FUNNIEST JOKES PART 2

FUNNIEST JOKES PART 2





1)           Patient: Doctor, "I get a strong stinging feeling in every time I eat a birthday cake."

        Doctor: Next time,blow out the candles.

2)   Thank you for your birthday wishes on Facebook . 
              Who are you by the way?

3)   Happy Birthday, soon you will get older and then you can laugh,sneeze,cough and pee at the same time.

4)   From a certain age, birthdays are like a reverse countdown.

5)   Difference between a beautiful night and horror night

         Beautiful night, When you hug your teddy bear and sleep

            Horror night, When your teddy bear hugs you BACK.

6)   They says milk gives strength.

       I drank 4 cups and could not move a wall.

       But when i took 4 bottles of beers, I saw the wall moving itself.

       These scientist should better stop their lies.

7)   A guy went for a interview at a big IT company for the position of "Computer Hacking investigator"

   The boss asked him: So, what makes you suitable for this job?

      Well,he replied, I hacked into your computer and invite myself to this interview.

8)    Read all the sentences in order

  This is this cat.

  This is is cat.

  This is how cat.

  This is to cat.

  This is keep cat.

  This is an cat.

  This is idiot cat.

  This is busy cat.

  This is for   cat.                                                                

  This is thirty cat.

  This is seconds cat.

  Now go back and read the third word in each sentence.

9)  1: I woke up

     2: I went to school

     3: I saw her

     4: I ran to her, and I hugged her

     5: I kissed her

       Actually, the right order is 3,4,5,1,2....


10) A local barber in my area just got arrested for selling                     drugs.

   Blew my mid.

   I've been his customer for years.

   I had no idea he was a barber.

11) I don't know why its hurts when we bite our tongue                              mistakenly.

     But it did not hurt when we bite it intentionally.

     And I still don not understand why you are biting your tongue now. 

12)     I was in a cab today and the cab driver said,

                "I love my job, I'm my own boss.

       Nobody tells me what to do."

         Then I said, "Turn left"

13)   My girlfriend broke with me.

          She thinks that i am a childish.

     So I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away.

14)  Hi guys,

           I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you !!!

          Today I saw myself on T.V when i turned it off.

15)  A guy in a plane stood up and shouted:

          "HIJACK!"

         All passengers got scared 

        From the other end of the plane,a guy shouted back 

          "HI JOHN".

16)  Those who are single, Let's sing this song together:

     Single bells

     Single bells

     Single all the way

     Oh what fun is it to watch those couple fight all days, Yay.....

17)  Today I saw two blind people fighting, than I shouted 

           "I am supporting the one with the knife",

       They both ran away.    

18)  Why is six afraid of seven? 

          " BECAUSE SEVEN ATE NINE. "

19)  What is an astronaut's favorite key on a keyboard?

                            " THE SPACE BAR" 

20)   What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

                  " THIS TASTES A LITTLE FUNNY. "

21)   What did the left eye say to the right eye?

          " BETWEEN YOU AND ME SOMETHING SMELLS.  

22) "A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth. "

23)  What is love?
       Love is the 7th sense that destroy all the six senses and makes the person non-sense.

24)  Major Rohan:
       Dude eggs are extra salty today.
       Tooo much salt..why?  

        .
        .
        .
           Waiter:
       Sir hen is suffering from high blood pressure.

25)  Knock! Knock!
              who's there?
      control freak.
                             Con....
        Okay know you say,
             "Control freak who?"

THE END!!!