Collection Of
"Funniest Quotations"
1) "An Apple a day keeps the doctor away,
But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit."
2) "Zombies Eat Brains.
You are safe."
You are safe."
3) "Life is short, smile while you still have teeth."
4) "Some Days I amaze Myself.
Other Days I put my Keys in the Fridge."
5) "I think something's missing in my life ....
like...
2-3 million dollars......"
6) "Some days I wish I had the wisdom of A 90 year old,
the body of a 20 year old,
and the energy of 3 year old."
7) "If I had just one hour left to live,
I'd spend it in Math class......
It never ends."
8) "A cop pulled me over and told me 'PAPERS", so I said
"SCISSORS, I WIN!"
And drove off."
9) "An apple a day keep anyone anyway,
If you throw it hard enough."
10) "Seeing a spider in my room is not scary
It is scary when it disappears."
11) "I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays,
Thursdays, and half of Fridays."
12) "My friend, Remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence;
and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty; so the world needs you after all."
13) "Sunglasses:
Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life."
14) "The more your weight the harder you are to kidnap,
Stay Safe,
Eat Cake."
15) "Do not take life too seriously,
You will never get out of it alive."
16) "Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent few hours with my family.
They seem like good people."
17) "That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen,
But you have to click it one more time to use it."
18) "Don't judge me, I was born to be awesome, not perfect."
19) "Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else."
20) "Some people are like clouds.
When they disappear it's a beautiful day."
21) "That awkward moment when you've said "What?"
three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah..."
even though you have no idea what they said."
22) "Lazy people fact
#2347827309018287.
You were too lazy to read that number."
23) "Happiness is.....
Not having to see the alarm for the next day."
24) "Singing in the shower is all fun and games
until you get shampoo in your mouth,
Then it just Becomes a soap opera."
25) "Don't give up on your dreams.
Keep sleeping......."
26) "My Saturday was going pretty well
until I realized it was Sunday."
27) " Some Things are better left unsaid.
Which I generally realize right after I have said them."
28) "I have lots of hidden talents.
The problem is, even I can't find them."
29) "Good Girls are found in every corner of the Earth.
But Unfortunately Earth is Round."
30) "Brains are awesome I wish everybody had one."
That's It !!!
Allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life."
14) "The more your weight the harder you are to kidnap,
Stay Safe,
Eat Cake."
15) "Do not take life too seriously,
You will never get out of it alive."
16) "Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent few hours with my family.
They seem like good people."
17) "That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen,
But you have to click it one more time to use it."
18) "Don't judge me, I was born to be awesome, not perfect."
19) "Always remember that you are absolutely unique.
Just like everyone else."
20) "Some people are like clouds.
When they disappear it's a beautiful day."
21) "That awkward moment when you've said "What?"
three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah..."
even though you have no idea what they said."
22) "Lazy people fact
#2347827309018287.
You were too lazy to read that number."
23) "Happiness is.....
Not having to see the alarm for the next day."
24) "Singing in the shower is all fun and games
until you get shampoo in your mouth,
Then it just Becomes a soap opera."
25) "Don't give up on your dreams.
Keep sleeping......."
26) "My Saturday was going pretty well
until I realized it was Sunday."
27) " Some Things are better left unsaid.
Which I generally realize right after I have said them."
28) "I have lots of hidden talents.
The problem is, even I can't find them."
29) "Good Girls are found in every corner of the Earth.
But Unfortunately Earth is Round."
30) "Brains are awesome I wish everybody had one."
That's It !!!
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